Marriage with Love and Respect

I just attended the "Love and Respect" conference at Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale - not to fix my marriage (I am a widower), but to gather information for marriage counseling.
The conference is based on Dr. Emerson Eggerich's book by the same title see his website for more information - http://www.loveandrespect.com
His teaching is founded on the Scripture in Ephesians 5:25-33. Why does God command men to love their wives, but command wives to respect their husbands? Why bot tell both to both love and respect?
Because God is not into redundancy. Women were designed by God to love, that's what they do. Their most fundamental need is for love. God commands them to respect, because it is not in their nature.
Men, on the other hand, were designed to provide and protect. Their most fundamental need is for respect, so God commands them to love, because it is not in their nature.
Women want love, and when they don't get it, they respond with disrespect - nagging, complaints - which men hate, so they respond with unloving behavior. Suddenly a cycle of unlove and disrespect begins to spin until somebody flys off. Men usually react by clamming up and withdrawing while women respond with more nagging. And so it goes.
But the commandment from God is for unconditional love and unconditional respect. We are supposed to love the unlovable, and wives are are told to respect the unrespectable.
When women treat men with respect, the man moves toward the woman, and behaves in ways that the woman sees as loving. A new rewarding cycle of love and respect begins to replace the dysfunctional "crazy cycle."
Folks, this is not rocket science, but it is counter-cultural and counter-intuitive. Nobody has been teaching this to marriage candidates and marriage counselors. They have been busily teaching stuff that doesn't work.
I have been burdened for a long time with the divorce rate, which is getting worse, and is worse for couples who claim to be Christians than it is for pagans. I feel strongly that Dr. Eggerich has found a better approach. And, according to his studies, the changes can be nearly immediate and huge for couples who employ his principles. I intend to promote them wherever I can

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Assault Weapons - AR-15

Amongst all the yakking about assault rifles is the media implication that assault rifles are extremely powerful guns that make huge holes in people. That is not the case. The AR-15 rifles fire a 22 caliber round that was designed to be small and lightweight so a soldier could carry more ammo. Hunting rifles fire larger, more powerful cartridges that are intended to drop a moose or bear with one s hot. I wouldn't try to bear hunt with an AR-15 - it's too small. From the time of the Civil War through the Korean war, soldiers carried rifles that fired really big cartridges which were lethal beyond 200 yards (one shot, one kill). Beginning with the Vietnam war the AR-15/M-16 weapons were used for close combat, spraying lots of lead quickly. Most of our Congressmen know this, but our president, who has never been in the military apparently does not. The reason the original assault weapons ban was allowed to expire, was that is was ineffective. Be informed - do not su...
Read more

Suffering

A number of ministries are currently talking about suffering, what with the tough economic times and so forth. 1. We live in a fallen world, and bad stuff happens. This is not God trying to teach us a lesson, although God can and does turn evil for good. 2. Satan is a liar and a deceiver. His tools are sickness, poverty and death. If you see these things in your life, it is not God correcting you. Sin has consequences, and God will not necessarily give you a free "get out of jail card." He WILL forgive your sin when you confess it and ask for forgiveness. 3. God does not correct us by trying to kill us or our family members. Hopefully, your earthly father did not do it that way either. 4. When God corrects us, He does it with the Word. Or more specifically with what the Word says. We have a covenant of peace with God, and He is not judging anyone at this time. There is a time reserved for judgement. 5. The non-believer will stand the Great White Throne Judgement . 6. The beli...
Read more

Salvation by WHAT?

As I travel around the United States, I do visitations at 20-30 Churches every year, not to preach, but to worship, receive communion, fellowship and recharge my depleted spiritual batteries. What I observe is pews filled with people that don't act very much like Jesus. What is wrong with this picture? I don't believe they are saved. They are among the throngs of people that claim to be Christians but have never done what the Scripture requires to be saved. They think they are saved, but they are not. We are not to judge people spiritually, that is God's job, but I ask them questions. For example: "tell me what you did to be saved." They talk about salvation by works, salvation by water baptism, salvation by joining the Church, salvation by growing up in a Christian home, everything but what Romans 10:9-10 requires. I believe the Institutional Church has preached and taught from the Old Testament (the Old Testament does not end until after the cross) and ...
Read more