Marriage with Love and Respect
I just attended the "Love and Respect" conference at Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale - not to fix my marriage (I am a widower), but to gather information for marriage counseling.
The conference is based on Dr. Emerson Eggerich's book by the same title see his website for more information - http://www.loveandrespect.com
His teaching is founded on the Scripture in Ephesians 5:25-33. Why does God command men to love their wives, but command wives to respect their husbands? Why bot tell both to both love and respect?
Because God is not into redundancy. Women were designed by God to love, that's what they do. Their most fundamental need is for love. God commands them to respect, because it is not in their nature.
Men, on the other hand, were designed to provide and protect. Their most fundamental need is for respect, so God commands them to love, because it is not in their nature.
Women want love, and when they don't get it, they respond with disrespect - nagging, complaints - which men hate, so they respond with unloving behavior. Suddenly a cycle of unlove and disrespect begins to spin until somebody flys off. Men usually react by clamming up and withdrawing while women respond with more nagging. And so it goes.
But the commandment from God is for unconditional love and unconditional respect. We are supposed to love the unlovable, and wives are are told to respect the unrespectable.
When women treat men with respect, the man moves toward the woman, and behaves in ways that the woman sees as loving. A new rewarding cycle of love and respect begins to replace the dysfunctional "crazy cycle."
Folks, this is not rocket science, but it is counter-cultural and counter-intuitive. Nobody has been teaching this to marriage candidates and marriage counselors. They have been busily teaching stuff that doesn't work.
I have been burdened for a long time with the divorce rate, which is getting worse, and is worse for couples who claim to be Christians than it is for pagans. I feel strongly that Dr. Eggerich has found a better approach. And, according to his studies, the changes can be nearly immediate and huge for couples who employ his principles. I intend to promote them wherever I can
The conference is based on Dr. Emerson Eggerich's book by the same title see his website for more information - http://www.loveandrespect.com
His teaching is founded on the Scripture in Ephesians 5:25-33. Why does God command men to love their wives, but command wives to respect their husbands? Why bot tell both to both love and respect?
Because God is not into redundancy. Women were designed by God to love, that's what they do. Their most fundamental need is for love. God commands them to respect, because it is not in their nature.
Men, on the other hand, were designed to provide and protect. Their most fundamental need is for respect, so God commands them to love, because it is not in their nature.
Women want love, and when they don't get it, they respond with disrespect - nagging, complaints - which men hate, so they respond with unloving behavior. Suddenly a cycle of unlove and disrespect begins to spin until somebody flys off. Men usually react by clamming up and withdrawing while women respond with more nagging. And so it goes.
But the commandment from God is for unconditional love and unconditional respect. We are supposed to love the unlovable, and wives are are told to respect the unrespectable.
When women treat men with respect, the man moves toward the woman, and behaves in ways that the woman sees as loving. A new rewarding cycle of love and respect begins to replace the dysfunctional "crazy cycle."
Folks, this is not rocket science, but it is counter-cultural and counter-intuitive. Nobody has been teaching this to marriage candidates and marriage counselors. They have been busily teaching stuff that doesn't work.
I have been burdened for a long time with the divorce rate, which is getting worse, and is worse for couples who claim to be Christians than it is for pagans. I feel strongly that Dr. Eggerich has found a better approach. And, according to his studies, the changes can be nearly immediate and huge for couples who employ his principles. I intend to promote them wherever I can
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